AAAHHHH

rotations..... yeah, so I knew they werent going to be easy.... but it is a different kind of stress. It's good.... I am learning more than I could possibly imagine in just 4 days.... Wow... projects, questions, quizzes, paper presentations, journal summaries, rounding with doctors... YIKES...... but, in the end, it is a good thing....

But, I am exhausted...... up at 6am and in bed at 11 0r 12. The good thing, is I am still managing to stay on track-ish with adapting to my new life...... exercising, running errands and getting the things done I NEED to do, not what I'd like to do necessarily... but it's all good. But, I feel stressed..... I need to spend more time with Zach, reconnect with folks and catch up on some serious emails to friends, etc..... YIKES, where does time fly?

WELL.... it all kinda crashed today when my husbands results from his blood test came back as abnormal... highly abnorm levels of a bunch of things.... and so, I just burst (??) into tears... this is my husband, the man I am to spend the rest, of my very long life with... why are his levels abnorm? There are people doing worse shit to themselves, and dont have these abnormal numbers of values as my hubby does..... it just really upset me..... he is young, healthy, active, etc.... if anyone should have fucked up values, it should be me!!! Maybe I should get a blood test???

Oh... and I told someone today that my cousin was in Stage 4 breast cancer... someone actually asked me if her kids have a good fathero????.... implying that she will not survive this.... yes, her prognosis is not very good... it is going to be very difficult to beat this (we realize this).... but I am EXTREMELY emotional about the whole thing, and for someone I dont know to ask that? I just took it as a hurtful comment (unintentionally; of course), but none the less... added to my crabiness/sadness.....

SO, LIKE I SAID.... AAAAHHHH!!!!!