My Darling Husband - round 2

So.... with this whole "finding myself" experience.... I have had time to see the things I hate about what I do do in my marriage and what things hubby hates I do.... and vice versa.... it has been quite challenging, for us both to hear, our weaknesses and has also been great to hear our strengths.

So, to recap.... I am a bottler, or I was.... and what really got to Zach was my picking fights... at the time, I would say "GOD, he makes me SO mad"... No he doesnt... we get along pretty fucking well, we are complimentary of each other... Zach is shy, and I'm... well.... not! Zach makes logical decisions, and I make emotional ones.... and this has worked! So, I am a bottler, and what really got to Zach was my picking fights... at the time, I would say "GOD, he makes me SO mad"... but I had to realize that it's because I was irritated at my job, my parents, school, to name a few. And, duing our average argument about ____ (insert some stupid married fight here), I would erupt and just be SO pissed off.... so, we both believe that fights would be just simply a fight.... not a HUGE fight. Dont get me wrong, we dont fight often.... we never have.... but when we do, we have REALLY fought. So, we both feel liek this is a major first step, for me....

We've survived 5 years, and (knock on wood) we've had all kinds of stuff thrown at us (not everything, but a lot of stuff, which not necessary to go into details here bout), and I feel like after our talk - there's nothing we cant handle together - See.... after hours of talking.... I have realized my own securities in my marriage, and voiced them with Zach and he's expressed his own insecurities. That felt great to do that. As a hole, our marriage is great.... NOT PERFECT, but great! We will be working on our communication... that is out biggest dilemma... I bottle and kepe things inside and he needs to work on HOW he says things to me (not what he says, HOW he says them) and so communication and doing more things together is where we're gonna start on ~

We feel like, after our talk... I need to be like (NOTE, I'm not gonna specfically discuss his because I know what they are and thats enough):

I need to let it out in a controlled way and not let my emotions control my way I respond, be more independent and I need to stop making excuses for most everything..

It was great to have the OPEN heart to heart (sounds like surgery).... and so now, we feel like we are more on the same page than we were last year.... we also discussed our dreams and ideals a bit more too, which helped also.

Ok, time for bed